Dear Baker,
My human is getting on my nerves. She gets angry with us when we wake her up to feed us breakfast, and she doesn’t seem to enjoy midnight play time. Could really use some advice.
Signed,
Hungry in the Morning
Baker takes time out from hiding to answer a fan’s advice letter.
Dear Hungry,
It sounds to us like you and your human need to get your schedules in sync. We had the same problem with our human before.
The first problem is getting hungry in the morning. You see, your human feeds you first thing in the morning, so you associate her getting out of bed with your breakfast. Tell your human she needs to schedule your breakfast to occur last in her morning routine, not first. That way you will get used to her shuffling around, making coffee, spraying water on her face, and doing all those bizarre human rituals before you get fed. Then you will realize there’s no point in trying to get her out of bed to feed you.
If humans would learn to sleep all day like normal animals, we wouldn’t have so many problems getting them to do stuff at night.
Second, get your human to feed you dinner at about dusk. Humans do not naturally play in the dark like normal animals. They prefer to sleep when it’s dark. If they could learn to sleep all day like we do, we wouldn’t have this problem, but the reality is that many cats all over the world have a scheduling conflict with their humans when it comes to playtime. My point is, if your human feeds you dinner at dusk, then she will have a few hours of darkness with which to play with you before she gets into bed. If you play with your human between dinner and human bed time, you’ll be far less likely to wake up for crazy kitty play time later in the night.
Make sure you have a talk with your human about scheduling. I’m sure it will solve all your problems with her.
Sincerely,
Baker
