This is probably the worst sequel ever made. Its crappiness partly stems from how really good the original ID4 movie was – the chasm between the first and second in this franchise is wide enough to land a cat on the moon in. The tagline is, “We had twenty years to prepare.” The revised tagline needs to include, “and yet we threw a bunch of cutting room floor footage together over the long weekend and called the results a movie.”
Here’s what the kitties have to say:
Baker — My humans were laughing so hard at this parody that I had trouble sleeping through it. Wait, what? It wasn’t meant to be a parody? Two paws way, way down!
Lance — I had to go into the other room. It was fine at first, but there was this part with a dog in it and all that yapping got on my nerves. Two paws enthusiastically down.
Butters (our intern Kitty Meowvie Critic) — There were things moving on the screen. Whizzy lights and Jeff Goldblum. I can’t think of a better way to spend Saturday night with my humans. I can’t count, but I raise all my paws and even my tail to this masterpiece of whizzy things.
Gone Girl is based on a best-selling novel by Gillian Flynn. She wrote the screenplay, too, so unusually for movies based on novels, you don’t come away from this one saying, “The book was better.” Unless you’re a real stickler for booksarealwaysbetterism, in which case, don’t even bother watching movies, you nerd!
Baker — My human watched Gone Girl on an airplane, while I was crammed in my small carrier under the seat in front of her. I was fine, by the way. Don’t worry about me.
Lance — Me too.
For meowvie buffs, Baker and Lance have produced their own version of this film, Gone Cat. You can watch it here:
Gravity is an action movie starring Sandra Bullock, George Clooney, and Ed Harris. Moviegoers anticipated its 2013 release with baited breath. Even now, this maddeningly impossible piece of schlock has 7.9 on IMDb. The IMDb user reviews are a very entertaining read.
“Baker and Lance give Gravity two paws up. ‘It was amazing,’ says Baker. ‘Stuff was moving around on the screen the whole time. I was riveted!’ Lance adds, ‘There were a lot of surprising moments, such as loud noises or flashes of light, that kept me awake for the entire movie! A must-see for all kitties. Two paws up!'”
Well, there you have it folks. Stay tuned for upcoming reviews, tips, and kitty-related information!
– By K.I Borrowman
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